The Brawling Band
by Andre Dmitri Garrett
Summary: Humor Trilogy 2.5. Marth, bored of the action in-between adventures, decides to get a rock band put back together. Of course, putting a band together is different from surviving it. The recurring band members are Marth, Ike, Link, and Samus.


A/N: So I am guilty of being impatient. I said I would only do a few one shots during NaNoWriMo, but I'm too impatient to do that, especially since NaNo isn't taking as much of my soul as I believed. This small series takes place _after _Red Ring of Death, but before the third Humor story. It's kind of 2.5. In either case, you're probably happy to see something in the Humor Trilogy coming out, or you're just wondering what on earth I'm writing. Either way, just keep grinning.

The Brawling Band

(Humor Trilogy Story Mk 2.5)

Chapter I

Long Freaking List of Things Sticking in the Middle of the Page

OR

A Band Roster

This story doesn't begin with the people noted in the character highlighter thingy.

It begins with Marth.

Specifically, with Marth and Ike.

"Boy, this place is getting so boring my hair has lost its ability to shine," Marth complained, leaning back in his chair. He had both legs across a body that had been deposited in front of the chair. Marth could only assume that it had been the work of Kirby's new league of assassins, the ones from Assassin's Creed. Apparently Kirby was very special to them. Either way, Marth had a footrest.

Sitting on the couch next to him was Ike with Lyn sitting on his lap. Ike grunted, shrugging his shoulders to Marth's statement. Lyn was more vocal about her response. "Then go do something," Lyn offered. "Didn't you say you were going to paint your nails?"

"But that's the problem girl!" Marth insisted. "This place has no women for us to be working! We need some partying like we had before, but there's no reason to party!"

Ike chose his next words carefully; Marth had been the president of their fraternity for a reason. "Do you remember the last time we had a party back then? We nearly blew up EA," Ike recalled.

"And look where them at now," Marth continued. "You know what, Ike? You still got your bass? Go get it; we're going to get a band started up again."

Ike and Lyn traded looks. Compared to how Marth got when he was angry or drunk, starting a band was the easiest and least damaging suggestion he'd given in a while. The last one had been murdering Sonic for borrowing Marth's shampoo. So Lyn got off Ike's lap and he left to go find his bass guitar. It was somewhere with his keepsakes from home. He hoped Soren wasn't crazy by now.

Lyn sat back down and crossed her legs, waiting to see what Marth was going to do next. If it was too dangerous, then she would have to try to stop him. Marth would probably win against her, but the other Smashers would know better than to trust Marth when they were sorting out the aftershock. Marth jumped to his feet and turned to the swordswoman. "Lyn, where's Samus?" he asked.

"Probably in her room," Lyn replied.

Marth flipped his hair and started walking. Lyn sighed and rubbed her temples. She had a feeling that there wasn't going to be a quiet place left in the mansion. She heard a sound off to her side, and then the quiet, dangerous words of, "Falcon Sneaky."

She sighed and drew her sword before attacking the curtain. Kirby should have his assassins kill Falcon permanently. That would be something the entire mansion could benefit from. Although, killing Falcon herself every day was a good source of exercise. He'd get better.

Captain Falcon used Up+B and nearly got Lyn. She gritted her teeth. Yes, unfortunately, he'd get better.

X

At that moment, Samus and Link were enjoying each other's company in the quiet of their room. Through a series of events that Mewtwo couldn't remember, Samus had taken off Link's hat and she was wearing it now. Link had her discarded helmet and was trying to figure out how it worked; he was still looking for the mythical on switch, similar to light switches. Samus was much more amused. She was not exempt for berating Link about the ridiculous headwear he used—even Zelda was at a loss for an explanation for her Hero's clothing—but now that she was actually wearing it, she could begin to see why he loved it so much.

Simply put, Link's hat was fun to wear. It also gave +13 to equipment defense against magic, which explained why Ganondorf's strongest spells were shrugged off by his regular metal shield.

There was a polite knocking on their door. "Hey! Samus, girl you there?" Marth called. He opened the door without waiting for a response and found Samus and Link wearing each other's headgear. "Snap; you two in deep."

"Cut the crap, Marth," Samus replied, taking Link's hat off. She felt foolish in front of someone other than Link, as though she were some sort of Elf. "You're here for something, and since I don't see Kirby, Falcon, Pikachu, Master Hand, the assassins, Mark, or anyone else you could piss off, it's probably a favor."

"Woman! I know what I'm doing! Don't question me or I will paint this room red!" Marth shouted. He was still easily offended, but even Samus and Link wouldn't want to fight Marth if he thought they'd stolen his shampoo.

"Fine. What do you want?" Samus asked.

"Well, Ike and I be starting a band," Marth explained. "That way we can have some parties coming round again, and we want you to be our guitarist."

Samus glanced over at Link. On the one hand, refusing Marth meant that he would find another guitarist and fight Samus and Link over it. On the other hand, accepting meant they were technically responsible for any damage that he would cause as a result of it. Marth pissed off was bad enough to deal with, but after learning that he had been president of the Nukem Fraternity in college made it worse. Anybody who had been not only president, but held a job as a hairdresser could hold their own. Except for beer; the story of Marth hanging from a chandelier naked was a well known story.

"All right, we'll play," Samus agreed. Marth raised an eyebrow and folded his arms, staring the bounty hunter down. "I'll play guitar for you if Link can play drums."

Link looked at Samus with an expression of bewilderment. She knew exactly what he was thinking. _Why am I being roped into this_?

"You sure he's good?" Marth asked. "Can he play?"

"What can't Link play?" Samus assured. "He'll be fine Marth. We'll grab our stuff and meet you and Ike in the common room."

"Snap; this is easier than I thought," Marth said. "See you there, girl." He waved at her and walked off, examining his nails. Out of sight, they heard someone bump into Marth, followed by a stream of curses, speeding steel, and then screams of agony.

Link turned to Samus as the bounty hunter took her helmet back from him. "Samus?" he asked. "Why am I being involved?

"I'm not about to stick myself with Marth for prolonged periods of time without someone to watch my back," Samus replied. "You know I don't get along well with others, especially when somebody calls me girl or girlfriend. Why? Are you complaining about being in my company?"

With those last words, she planted Link's hat on his head and gave him a kiss. Link had no objections, and retrieved his drums as ordered.

X

They arrived at the specified room, where Ike had already set up an amp and was tuning his long forgotten bass guitar. He looked up at Samus and Link when they entered, and gave a grunt in response. "Hey," Ike greeted. "Got your stuff?"

Samus nodded. "Yeah, Link offered to carry it all," she replied. Link reached into his pocket and began to pull things out. First was an amp for Samus, followed by electric guitar. Then he pulled out the pieces of the drum set before putting them all together. But what gave him the most trouble was searching for his sticks. Link finally found them, and sat down at the drum set.

Ike stared at where everything had come from Link's pocket. He really needed to learn how he did that. It would make carrying his army's inventory a lot easier. Lyn entered, wiping her blade of a liquid that looked suspiciously like blood. "You play Lyn?" Samus asked.

"No, but I figured I could watch. More people to restrain Marth," Lyn explained. Samus nodded in agreement. "Where is Marth?"

"Don't ask," Ike muttered. He was Marth's roommate, and therefore he knew exactly what the feminine gangster prince had been up to. The mercenary stopped his tuning guitar and took a seat, idling playing chords. "No second guitarist? Or keyboard then. Meh."

"Does anything excite you?" Samus asked. Lyn and Ike exchanged glances. "Right. Never mind. No reason to go screaming like Pit would have."

Finally Marth entered, with Kirby at his side. Behind them, the Assassins Creed group were carrying an electronic keyboard for Kirby. They placed it down in a spot for him, plugged it in, and withdrew to the edges of the stage with their hidden blades ready. No one thought to tell them that the room was mostly empty. They were too busy looking at Marth, who had dressed himself in black and done his fingernails to black.

Link raised his hand. "Kirby plays?" he asked.

"Yeah, and he can produce music for us too," Marth replied. "He's up on the know."

"Kirby writes music?" Ike asked, impressed.

"No; he ate some and just spits it back out."

"Oh." That was significantly less impressive. Kirby ate and spat out anything. The assassins asked on a regular basis for their inspiration and lord to eat and spit them back out. "Well as long he didn't eat the composer too."

Ike had spoken too early, and Kirby reacted to what he heard. He turned away from the piano and spat out a skeleton, which the assassins caught and placed sacredly on the ground. It was dressed in old fashioned clothes and had a certain original composition in its hand.

The Smashers could only stop and watch in disgust. Finally, as the assassins began to bow to Kirby—who had no idea what was happening—someone said what none of the others were willing to admit to. That person was Marth. "Snap! He decomposed Beethoven!"


End file.
